HOW TO GET OVER SOMEONE:  Love Again

Ah, such a beautiful subject, but how is this done?  In my own practice I find many people have to deal with loss from a break up and death, as I had had to do as an individual.  No one is saved from the emotional experience of loss.

One type of loss is not easier than the other.  Each one is unique, challenging and maddening, for getting over the loss of someone you truly loved can be quite illusive.  The feeling of loss can continue for years.

In my quest to learn more about this, I found an article by David Braucher, L.C.S.W., Ph.D, in Psychology Today.  It is at this link HERE.

Dr. Braucher in this article provides wonderful insight.  He explains in it, the love we experienced with our ex is something we created.  It is not something the object of our love controls.  We created it, much like a chef creates a dish.

So when we start to see how it is our self that created the love, we realize we are capable of creating new love, much like a chef can cook a delicious recipe again.  Albeit the dish would be a bit different for no ingredients, nor cooking process, are identical, just as no two people are.

Each relationship has its own characteristics.  At times when we try to let go of someone we have difficulty letting go of the unique traits of the lost relationship.

Why not, instead, honor that relationship?  Know it was something you created from your capacity to love.  Realize it can never be taken from you as you did create it, and it does still exist within the confines of your memory.  Honor it and make it sacred.

Then begin to shift to reconstructing a NEW relationship.  Begin to look forward to the adventure of creating a new dish from the ingredients available today.  Just as a chef would cook from the shallots available today the dish he did yesterday, you can do the same.

Your new LOVE would be a bit different.  Why you can even take poetic license and break from the recipe, allowing inspiration to lead and guide you to create a new LOVE to suit your current self.

You see, you are not the same as the way you were when you created the last relationship.  You have changed since then.  That relationship changed you.  It softened you, awakened you, mellowed you and developed you.

Your new relationship has the chance to be a better one, more well constructed, better suited to you, as it will contain new ingredients you learned are needed for you to love even more completely than before.

One of my prior relationships awakened me to love, but I have grown since then.  I am now more self confident, less needy.   I have become more successful in my business.  I have matured in certain areas.

As well, I have begun to realize areas in myself which at that time were dormant.  Now I realize these characteristics are truly part of my value system, as immutable as a DNA blueprint of my soul.

My last love did not mirror these values back to me.  Now it makes sense we broke up, as we were there to develop and grow from each other, to further define our self expression from each other.

We experienced our love, to leave each other eventually, as better, more well constructed humans.  We were not together to end up with each other.

All things have a reason for being.  It is our responsibility to understand why we are in certain situations.  When we get the “lesson” the situation is released from us.  We are able to “move on.”

So if you are stuck in looking backwards instead of ahead due to the loss of a love relationship, it is valuable to realize you created it for your growth.  You can not return to it because the relationship changed you.

Your reason for being in it, no longer exists because you are a different person now than the one that constructed it.  Once you know this you realize you can now have the adventure and the opportunity to create a new love relationship better suited to who you are and what you need today!

Whew!  Isn’t that great?  I do think so.

Here is a way to do this.

1.  Take a mindful meditation.  Focusing on your breath for 5 to 30 minutes is a great way to do this.  If you do not know how to meditate search on youtube.com for one to help you enter the “zone.”

2.  Now write 3 – 5 things you feel you need in a relationship.  These should be things like how you will feel in the relationship, what are your values and attitudes about life, your belief systems.

3.  Now take 8 – 10 minutes seeing yourself in this relationship, living our these values, belief systems and interests with a NEW person.

4.  Each day take a 10- 30 minute mindful meditation.  Then follow with 10 minute daydream about your new relationship.  If you have trouble daydreaming about your new relationship you might find it helpful to create a story about your being with this new love.  Record it in your own voice.  Then listen to this for 10 minutes a day.

Enjoy being the chef of your own life and your own experience.  Become empowered now!

Love & blessings,

Spirit Medium Laura
Book your private session with Laura at http://BookLaura.com