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How to Fix a Broken Relationship. Spirit says if you want to fix a broken relationship you need to be the vibration of what you long to have.
Learn how the more you give to your partner what he or she wants, the more likely it is to get what you want if you ask for it.
Recently I worked with a client who wanted to know how to fix a broken relationship.
She regretted it so much, but did not know what to do.
I bring this up, because it is a classic situation.
You are in a relationship.
Your lover (mate, spouse) seems to no longer covet you. This could be because he or she feels comfortable in the relationship.
This might feel like being taken for granted and you take it this way.
You long for the “spark” again. You long to feel pursued, passionately placed on a pedestal and not taken for granted.
Holidays sometimes come around and there are no special plans made.
Weekends end up being spent in front of the TV. No special plans made like a date.
So how do you go from rude complacency to hot passion again?
My client had already lost the relationship. Her boyfriend felt criticized by her clear dissatisfaction in the way the relationship had gotten comfortable.
Her boyfriend felt criticized for being himself, relaxing in the comfort of intimacy. To him nothing was wrong in staying home and relaxing in the warmth and comfort of familiarity.
Each had a different love language. She wanted excitement. He wanted comfort.
Spirit said that when we long for something from someone else, it means it is missing in ourselves.
We cannot attract what we want unless we are what we want! We must embody this vibration in our energy system.
You want to go out on a sexy date. You need to start acting sexy, taking care of yourself, maybe going out on fun dates with friends.
You need to be the passion for yourself. As you begin to develop excitement in your own life, the way you groom, exercise and entertain yourself would create in you that vibration.
Like attracts like.
In this new climate of excitement, you can readdress your faltering relationship. Make friends with that person.
Have no expectation other than to share yourself in your new vibration of lively, lovely and loving life.
How do you make your life exciting. Some ideas.
- Take up an exciting physical hobby like belly dancing, Karate, skiing or surfing. Take up something you always wanted to do.
- Groom yourself better. Maybe get a manicure and pedicure, change your hair style, start eating healthier.
- Go out with friends to a play, the opera, a concert, whatever if exciting to you.
- Go on a trip abroad to a place you have always wanted to visit with friends or be daring and go alone or with a single travel club.
When you bring yourself what you long for in a relationship you will influence your counterpart. He or she will want to join you, or maybe do some of what you want.
If your partner is not influenced, then perhaps you are not right for each other after all. (More below on that.)
If you are the excitement, you will attract more of the same.
BE THE CAUSE
Be the love. Be the passion. Be what is missing in your relationship.
The more you do this and expect less of your partner to provide to you, the more your partner will model your behavior back.
Of course, there is a chance it will further push your partner away, but if this is something you really want and are willing to give your partner some of what he or she really wants, this is a sound strategy to use.
At times our partners do not know what to do to please us. They know what they like.
Their love language is different from ours.
They may find it loving of you to allow them to sleep in, sit home, watch sports on TV all weekend.
You may want:
- To receive flowers for special occasions or no reason at all
- To go on a romantic date and shown thoughtfulness in various ways.
- Maybe you would like your partner to help with the cleaning and chores.
- Take the garbage out without asking.
- Give the baby a bath some evenings so you can rest.
So how do you bridge this rift?
Ask your partner what he or she wants.
Ask your partner for what you want.
The more you give to your partner what he or she wants, the more likely it is to get what you want if you ask for it.
This is true for most people, unless you are dealing with a narcissist. If so, then there really is no give and take. There is only take and this article has no value to you in this case.
Be the cause of what you want in your relationship. Take responsibility for what you want.
Getting what you want may seem not as much fun if you had to give it to yourself, rather than have someone mysteriously and romantically figuring it out for you, but you are not five years old anymore. (Big smile at you!)
It is almost cruel to expect your partner to read your mind, figure it out on his or her own, and romantically be that fairy godmother you did not have somewhere along your formative years.
Try being the cause of your happiness.
You might just find it is just as much fun to bring in the fun than have someone bring it to you.
This way you get to choose the right way to make fun for you!
Namaste,
Spirit Medium Laura