How to win an argument with a stubborn person. Spirit says hearing the other person’s point of view, then stepping back, works.
Today spirit was teaching how to win an argument with a stubborn person in three separate client sessions I had.
When Spirit Speaks, I listen.
Spirit has a way of highlighting lessons I am supposed to teach others by grouping them together in client sessions.
All of my sessions today taught the same technique to win an argument with a stubborn person. Each client was in an entirely different circumstance, yet, I marveled at how the advice spirit gave was exactly the same.
Don’t Argue – How to Win An Argument With a Stubborn Person
The technique is, “Don’t argue. The person in conflict with you must figure it out by himself or herself because s/he is stubborn.”
In all the readings the conflict had already been argued about. This is not favorable as arguing tends to create resistance on each side to be right.
However, at least they had shared their point of view.
Fairness
Some people are not fair, they have low empathy and want to win at any cost. This advice is for people who are not narcissistic, trying to win at the sacrifice of the other.
How to Share Your Point of View – How to Win An Argument With a Stubborn Person
If you have not had your point of view heard, you must first allow a discussion of it when you are not angry.
Each person needs to listen to the other person’s point of view without trying to win. Then after that has been shared it is time to be silent.
I know this may sound impossible to do, but the lesson today for three completely different clients was to keep their mouth shut.
Once the other party has voiced his or her opinion, you need to say, “I hear you.”
You can repeat what you heard them say to solidify this point, but this is not as necessary as simply saying you heard the other person.
Don’t Agree – Listen Instead: How to Win An Argument With a Stubborn Person
You are not agreeing with the other person. You are hearing them.
Then you can ask your opponent if they will “hear” you. At this point, assuming you have received a “yes” to this question, explain your point of view.
This is about being heard, not winning.
When this has been accomplished, it is important for both parties to resist the urge to argue to win.
In today’s reading they were each told by spirit to literally let the other person figure it out on their own.
Negotiate A Plan
I would add that there could be situations where after a period of silence, maybe a few hours, days or even weeks, it would be appropriate to negotiate in an agreeable way.
I like to call this a negotiation, not a compromise. In a negotiation a plan is created where both parties get their most important needs met.
(A compromise suggests no one gets their needs met. This may sound like semantics, but this is how I see it.)
“In a negotiation, each person gets something in exchange for giving something their partner wants. In compromise, neither partner actually gets what they want. They often settle on some middle ground between two ends of an issue, with the result that neither is satisfied with the solution.” Taken from Psychology Today HERE.
If both parties cannot get their most important needs met in this way, then maybe this relationship cannot be harmonized.
However, in today’s readings the relationships would be healed by not negotiating anything, by simply allowing the other person to figure it out for themselves after both parties have been heard.
What You Can Do Other Than Argue
After you have shared both points of view, you can do something. You can pray that the conflict be heard. You can visualize it was healed. And you can affirm it is healed.
Working on an energy level is profoundly powerful.
Hope this short idea has been helpful.
Namaste,
Spirit Medium Laura